A Woman Grown

by Tamysan

Part 3

Allura was panting as she finally stopped at her destination. She had ran hard these last few miles, half fearing over some nameless fear that prompted her to run even faster. But at last she was here. The Painted Caves were where she remembered them to be and there was where she needed to go, since there was water. The faint streaks of dawn was not far away now and the skies were lightening up.

But before she could go any further, a voice cut through the stillness – no, it was a laugh, a hearty victorious laugh that sent shivers through her spine. She knew that laugh – it was Lotor's! Allura froze like a deer in her tracks as she looked up to where the voice had come from. She saw the Prince of Doom lounging against a tree, high upon a ridge. Evidently he had seen her arrival and Allura knew that she had been tricked. Oh, she had been so blind!

"Well, what a lovely sight to see... " Lotor's voice carried out to her.

Allura said nothing. She was going to stand her ground. If it was one thing she did have – it was her laser pistol. She would not use it yet but when he came closer she would not hesitate to.

"Now wouldn't you prefer to be my Queen with the riches of the universe heaped at your feet..." Lotor plucked a leaf off the tree. "Or perhaps you'd prefer to be a drudge with dishpan hands!"

He abruptly jumped off of the high embankment with all the litheness and gracefulness of a cat landing on it's feet. He walked over toward her slowly as if he were sure she wouldn't try to get away from him. Allura noticed the sure way in which he approached her and the old fear of him came back. Here was another who sought to control her. Allura stiffened her spine, ready to stand up to Lotor. To her discomfort, Lotor's eyes twinkled with amusement.

"My sweet... " Lotor purred. "I have come to give you one more chance to become my Queen."

"Never!" Allura's eyes flashed with anger.

"Never?" Lotor rose to her refusal with a hint of anger. "Your precious Arus is about to be destroyed by my father's fleet! Only I can prevent that – or rather, YOU can prevent that by agreeing to be my Queen and rule the universe at my side." Lotor took a hold of her arms and gripped them, wanting to shake some sense into her.

"Get away from me or I'll shoot!" Allura drew her weapon but Lotor laughed and slapped it away. It skittered quite a distance away to Allura's dismay.

"Now then... " Lotor smirked. "Maybe you'll listen to reason. Of course if you don't, I'll simply carry you off."

"The others will find me and they'll – " Allura was cut off by Lotor's short laugh.

"Realize you've left the castle? Oh perhaps. But we'll be long gone by then."

Allura's eyes flashed with anger – more anger at herself than at Lotor. She had been tricked – again because she had not trusted her own self and had believed a lie that had looked like her father. Her father would not have told her to run far away from any sort of safety or chance to fight. He would have told her to face her fears. And now – here she was between two of her greatest fears – Lotor and the comfortable trap that awaited her back at the Castle. Her arms suddenly slumped and she lowered her head, trying not to weep in frustration and anger. It didn't matter that Lotor was holding her, she was trapped any way you sliced it.

Lotor had anticipated her anger and he had expected a fight from her. But the unexpected relaxing of her muscles and her lowered head he did not expect. Something within him told him that she was feeling a great emotion, something that she did not want to show to him. Somehow this made him think of the countless times he had hid his true feelings from his father when his head was bowed and he was kneeling in front of the many steps of his throne like the worthless pawn his father thought him to be. Seeing her like this puzzled him, and his pride seemed to vanish, with curiosity and empathy taking it's place. Odd that he had never felt such things before – or perhaps it was something he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a very long time.

"Allura?" Lotor's voice came out softly and Allura could hear it in the stillness. Something about it roused her from her self–pity and anger. It was the tone of it – she had never heard that soft tone in his voice before. This made her raise her head and Lotor could see that her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Do you know what it's like to be trapped?" Allura asked.

Lotor raised a brow but Allura ignored it, and continued to speak as if she hadn't asked him the question.

"Trapped in everyone's expectations of what you should be... " Allura seemed to stare beyond him. "I never had a chance to grow up. Oh I've seen things – horrible things, but it's like I'm not allowed to grow up and make my own decisions for better or worse. Allowed enough rope to make you believe that you are free, but you're not. "

Her words hit home and Lotor knew that it was exactly what he had always thought. That she would think such thoughts surprised him.

"Do you know what the worst part is, Lotor? The worst part is that I let it happen. I let them humiliate me, make every rule – even after my father died. It was easy to, you know. Easy because making my own decisions hurt too much and they were older, wiser, they knew better... "

~I know more than you'll ever know, whelp!~ Zarkon's voice roared as he administered the whip to Lotor's bare back. ~Think you deserve what I worked so hard for? Ha!!~ Lotor remembered the whip punctuating his next words. ~I'll always be older, stronger and wiser than you, fool boy! YOU are but a pawn – a lowly slave to MY wishes! YOU will have NO will but MINE!!!~

Lotor shuddered as his arms went from Allura's shoulders to around her back to hold her close to stave off the chill that was seeping into his bones. To his surprise she did not resist. She leaned against his chest, seemingly forgetting who he was at the moment as she continued to speak softly.

"I made my own decisions – when they allowed it – I fly the Blue Lion but I know that Coran and Nanny disapprove. I think even the guys disapprove. But I do it for my people and for myself. It's the only freedom I have... " She sighed deeply. "I want to be free... "

"I do too... " Lotor breathed in the scent of her hair and sighed. Allura raised up her head and he saw that she looked surprised.

"You – want to be free? Why? You look free to me. You do whatever pleases you."

"Sometimes that is a prison in itself." Lotor's eyes met hers and for the first time Allura saw something deep and profound in them. What she saw was pain. "Not all prisons are within castle walls, Princess."

"I never knew you felt that way... " Allura looked a little unsure of him.

"I never knew I felt that way either – or maybe I did... " Lotor looked a little uncomfortable at admitting his deepest feelings. It was something he didn't do much at all. To admit his true feelings would have gotten him killed by now.

"Why do you want the universe?" Allura furrowed her brows. "Why do you – " she paused. "Want me?"

"Why are you asking these questions, my dear? A delay tactic perhaps?" Lotor gripped her tightly as if he were afraid she'd make a run for it.

"I want to know." Allura said.

~She wants to know... she wants to know – me?~ Lotor thought incredulously. Somehow he had never thought about that – or in knowing her either. Was this the way that people loved each other? He wasn't sure. Physical love he did know but –

"Lotor, please? I won't tell anyone." Allura said.

Lotor smirked and started to say something about his having absolute power over everyone but instead he said, "So that I can see my father's face... " Allura saw his eyes flash with hatred and realized that Lotor hated his father just as she had cause to.

"Yes... " Lotor went on. "See his old face twist up in fear when he realizes that *I* hold his miserable life in his hands – just as he held mine since the day I was born! I'll laugh in his face and make him beg for his life before I take it..."

"Lotor... " He felt her shrink in his arms a little and he looked down at her.

"I hate him, Allura. I hate the way he's treated me all these years, belittling me and any accomplishment I ever did. I tried to please him and then I tried to please myself, and – I – I – cannot. Try to drown it with killing, screwing, drinking, riches... and it – doesn't work... doesn't work... "

This was something Allura had never expected to see on Lotor's face – the naked truth of his feelings. He did feel things other than what had been the obvious pride and arrogance.

"Maybe you should try something new... " Allura said softly.

"What?" Lotor's voice was raspy with emotion. "Turn good? Ha!"

"I don't know... " Allura said as she gently raised a hand to his jaw. An idea had come to mind and it was something that she was very afraid of but somehow she wanted to do this for herself and perhaps for Lotor too. "You never did answer why you wanted me... " Allura felt like she was simply trying to push away the idea from her mind.

"I want you because... " Lotor thought of all the reasons that he had wanted her and out of all of them, what came out was, "You're everything I can never have... "

"I don't understand... " Allura said.

"I don't either... " Lotor said softly."I just feel – I don't know... dammit... " He scowled. What in the hell WAS he doing?

"Lotor... " She looked deep into his eyes. "I – make love to me."

She saw his eyebrows shoot up in surprise and resisted the urge to giggle.

"What?" He was surely hearing things or this was another dream from which he'd wake from, roused by his father's summons.

"I just – " Allura hesitated and then she drew herself up on tiptoe and kissed him on the lips gently. Lotor looked down at her quite dazedly as she parted from him and looked up at him expectantly.

"You've – never done that before... " Lotor felt a sense of awe and wonder.

"Please?" Allura asked.

"You – don't have to beg me... " Lotor murmured, his fingertips grazing her jaw. "I was always your slave... did you not know that?"

Allura smiled a little and Lotor kissed her wordlessly and held her as if she would vanish at any moment.

Part Four

He could sense a little bit of her fear and his heart turned over – he who had relished the fear in countless others that he had conquered and ruled over. It was odd, this feeling he felt. Lotor was proud when others feared him but Allura? At first he didn't mind at all. He had wanted her to fear him, for it made him feel powerful and controlling, but now – now he didn't want that. All thoughts of conquering her were gone now. There was only the nearness of her.

"Love... " Lotor's fingers brushed her cheek gently. "Are you sure?"

"Yes... " Allura nodded. "Here, now... "

"Here?" Lotor raised a brow. "But you deserve a soft bed, silk sheets... "

"On Doom?" Allura shuddered. "No, Lotor... now – before I – I change my mind."

"As you command, my sweet... " Lotor was mesmerized by those eyes of blue and he would do anything for her at that moment. He kissed her gently, his fingers gently stroking her hair and releasing the pins that held it in place. Allura, in turn, wrapped her arms around his waist, a little unsure but determined. She had never truly touched any male like this except in platonic hugs that were brief. Allura felt a thrill of excitement deep within her body and it was almost akin to when she would fly the Blue Lion. This was something new and she couldn't quite believe she was doing this.

Their lips parted and Allura gazed into Lotor's eyes.

~Why he looks so – happy! Not mean–happy, but joyful... ~ She thought to herself.

Without a word he scooped her up and Allura already knew his destination would be one of the painted caves just beyond...


He had furnished a cloak to lie down on – Allura hadn't even noticed that he had brought one. She sat upon it and watched him as he came back into the cave, holding two containers of –

"Water!" Allura exclaimed as he handed her the metal container. "Where did you get the containers and how did you find the well?"

The containers are from my cruiser. A Doom officer is always prepared. As for the other – we do have surveillance drones – they've mapped out every square inch on Arus – including this well."

"Oh... " Allura looked half fearful as she sipped at her water and Lotor noticed it. He frowned as he sat down beside her.

"Love, I am only telling you that because it is the truth. No doubt your security forces have mapped out Doom as well... "

Allura nodded. "But it's difficult – your planetary shield is a pain to work around."

Lotor laughed. "My sweet, so is yours. Actually I shall share a secret – my father is quite upset because your Daystar shields have prevented him using any of the information we have gathered."

"Good!" Allura took a solid drink of her water now. She was still quite thirsty from her run.

"This water is delicious... " Lotor commented. "We have to recycle our water on Doom."

"You do?" Allura looked surprised.

Lotor shrugged and finished off his water. It wasn't his usual wine but he didn't need to get drunk – not now.

"Doom is a dead world – for all that my father embraces it as the jewel of the Empire. We have to ship things in – hence we conquer other worlds."

"But not the only reason... " Allura said softly.

"There are many reasons, love... " Lotor sighed. Perhaps she had changed her mind.

"We can talk about that – later." Allura finished her water and set the cup down. Lotor's face brightened. She sat there, a little unsure of how to proceed. It was obvious that she was nervous again, for she watched Lotor as he scooted over to her.

"Don't be afraid, love... " Lotor said this gently.

"I don't want to be... " Allura allowed him to lean her backward to where she was lying on his cape.

"I won't let you... " Lotor kissed her deeply, holding her tightly. Allura let herself go in that kiss, somehow feeling the deep love he had for her in it.


Keith's horse was at a gallop, but still it was quite a distance to the Painted Caves. Keith's dark eyes were determined. He knew that Lotor was still there since his portable sensor indicated that the ship had not left yet. No doubt he was gloating over Allura's predicament or even worse – no, Keith would not think about that. He would not put it past Lotor to rape Allura. If he did, Keith would kill him – no he'd kill him anyway, just to rid the universe of him.

~Hang on, Princess. I'm coming... ~ Keith spurred his horse onward.


~He's so beautiful...~ Allura sighed softly as she watched him undress, his eyes upon her now unclothed figure upon the cloak. ~How could someone so beautiful be so evil?~ She asked herself this but as she looked at him, she saw nothing of evil now. All she saw was a handsome man, his eyes filled with deep love and longing. His sensual mouth was parted and he looked so vulnerable to her, even as he looked so powerful. Her gaze went downward to that part of him – it fascinated her as well as frightened her a little. A few times she had accidentally caught the guys in various stages of undress, but they had never looked like this! She flushed as he caught her looking and he chuckled softly as he knelt down beside her.

"My princess is curious?" Lotor asked, a ghost of a smile playing across his lips.

"No! I – uh... " Allura stammered.

"Shhhh... no need for explanations... " Lotor placed a finger to her mouth. "Let me look upon you... " His eyes traveled the expanse of her body and Allura shifted, not used to such close scrutiny.

"You are so beautiful... " Lotor's fingers grazed her throat. "So beautiful outside and inside... I want to worship you... kneel at your feet... give you the universe... "

This alarmed Allura, who had always been raised with the belief of a higher deity. She, would never want to be worshiped by anyone!

"No, please... no one should be worshiped... we're all but mortals, Lotor... " She placed her hand over Lotor's.

"Tell that to my father... " His expression darkened for a moment. "But it is true, love. I adore you and I would give you what you deSire."

A playful smile appeared on her face as she looked at him. "Then just give me yourself. It's all I ask."

He smiled at her and nodded. "That I shall do... " He bent to kiss her and she moved her hand away as he gently slid on top of her, careful not to hurt her with his weight. His hands slid down and cupped her breasts, Allura melted under the warmth in his hands. To be touched like this was wonderful, and it was only the beginning. Her hands went to his face and they kissed endlessly, breathlessly, as their hands stroked each other gently. Lotor was led by long practice and Allura's by instinct alone but that didn't matter. They both seemed to know what the other wanted without asking.

Lips kissing, burning upon skin. Soft gasps and delighted whispers as they both let themselves go, each striving to please the other. Lotor took his time, not wishing to rush things, but with every passing moment Allura felt a driving urge for something – she knew what it was of course.

"Lotor... " Allura's face was filled with desperation and longing. "You're driving me crazy... "She whispered, blushing furiously but she didn't care.

"Can't have that." He kissed her on the forehead and readied himself just as Allura welcomed him. His face grew serious for just a moment.

"Allura – there will be pain – the first time. I shall make it quick... "

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck. A moment later she did feel the pain and the odd sensation of him within her. He felt impossibly huge and Allura felt herself stiffen as her hands curled against his neck.

"Are you all right?" Lotor asked.

Allura only nodded. She wanted to go on. Lotor looked into her eyes for a moment and he felt a sharp stab of remorse deep within him. All the women he had taken in his conquests, all the slave girls – he had never been considerate of their pain or their fear. He had relished it but now he only felt the deepest of remorse. Maybe – maybe if the gods would allow him Allura he would change for her. He wasn't sure how but that could be for later. Now he had to attend to his love.

When he started to move slowly within her, Allura winced but she hung on to him as he started to kiss her again, letting his hands sweep over her body. Slowly by degrees she started to relax and the deep feeling of warmth came back to her. Instinctively she moved with him, wanting more of him. Her hands were tangled in his long hair as Allura kissed him wildly, sighing his name. Lotor was surprised and pleased by the passion she showed to him and he endeavoured to please her utterly.

Faster, oh god, she was flying toward some high peak and she was so aware of Lotor above her, his golden eyes blazing down at her. His body drove into her with a relentless timeless rhythm, which she matched, driving her hips into his. Allura knew this could not last forever – it was so intense – but god, it was wonderful and she wanted him with her every step of the way.

And then – blinding... her world shattered, she shattered like glass, her body arching upward, a cry spilling from her lips – his name – as her nails raked into the muscles of his back helplessly. Dimly she felt him tense and a throaty cry of release escaped from his throat as his essence flowed into her. Allura tensed too but in a delicious way, feeling a sense of triumph that she had captured him so. In that moment she had the sense of power that all females possessed in that moment, even as a part of her realized that she could have possibly become pregnant.

"Allura... Allura... I love you..." Lotor's lips were against her throat as he tried to recover himself. His world had spun around and exploded deliciously. No slave, no substitute. This was his love and he, for once had made her happy. Allura smiled, her eyes closed. She felt like she could drift to sleep this way, even if the floor of the cave was hard. This felt so right, so good and it hadn't been just the physical part. She had seen a side of Lotor that perhaps no one had seen before.

"There is good in you... " Allura whispered to him as her heart sang. She knew she was right in this – knew it deep within herself. Her father had said once that sometimes you had to go by your heart and this felt right. She opened her eyes and stroked his back and it was then that she noticed that dawn had finally arrived. But something was wrong – there was a shadow! She felt Lotor tense above her and instantly he twisted around and it was then that she saw –


On to Parts 5-6