Bass Ackwards Romance Part 1

(Allura, Lotor and the rest of the VF and everyone else belong to World
Events Productions. Adult situations and general silliness abound. -  Tam)

"I wouldn't MARRY you if you were the LAST man in the Universe!" Princess
Allura backed away from the Crown Prince of Doom.

"Don't you get TIRED of saying that, my dear?" Lotor's white brows knitted in
consternation. "You WILL be mine! You ARE mine!"  He came towards her slowly,
menacingly. Allura backed away until her back touched the wall.

"Such beauty is wasted here.." Lotor smirked as his eyes greedily took in
Allura's supple form. "You deserve to be my Queen and sit by my side - the
universe at your dainty feet - OOOOOOFFFFFF! Uhhhhhhh..."

Lotor went down like a stone, for one of those so-called dainty feet lifted
up, causing her dainty knee to ram into his royal jewels!! By the time he
recovered somewhat, his lovely princess was gone and he had to get out of the
castle before that Captain Keith spouted off another cheesy heroic line.

Unfortunately it WASN'T Lotor's day at all, for as he scrambled out of
Allura's bedroom, Keith ran in and shouted, "Run like the SNAKE you are,
Lotor! Good will always prevail over YOUR evil, right team?"

However, his 'team' wasn't in earshot at all and it was a disturbing tendency
as of late for the Captain of the Lion Force to say 'team' after every
sentence. Lotor gritted his teeth as he made his quick getaway - not because
the getaway was difficult, but skintight leather pants were NOT condusive to
the healing of bruised family jewels!

Back on Doom it was the same old thing..appear in the throne room and get
chewed out by his father, Zarkon.

"Mooning after that princess AGAIN? You simple minded whelp! I want Voltron
destroyed and instead you're always fouling it up!"

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

The only thing that saved HIS bacon was the fact that his father was so old
he couldn't possibly sire an heir - but then again with Hagar around with her
black arts there was no telling. What COULD he do? He was seriously tired of
her refusals and yet he loved her - loved her SO much that duplicate
slave-girls just didn't cut it! Allura was beautiful, brave, intelligent, and
dammit, yes she was sexy!

Ow. Damned jewels!

How could he make her love him? He'd tried everything! Force, magic, dinner,
everything except down and dirty sex, and the only reason he HADN'T had that
was because he couldn't get close enough to her to DO it! Lotor knew if he
had ONE chance with her in his bed, she would fall in love with him -
actually lust was good too.

But she HATED him!

And so he shut himself in his room - not to drink or cavort in safe sex with
his slave-girls, but to think. This was an unusual occurrence for the Crown
Prince, since he was the kind of prince who acted first and thought later.
But this was VERY important and so he thought..and he pondered..and he think,
thank and thunk.

Finally in the wee hours of the morning, he smiled craftily, for he had
thought of a plan..


It was Wednesday, a good time of the week to attack Arus, since it wasn't
bitch Monday and it wasn't too close to the weekend either.  Prince Lotor and
his disposable Fleet of the week honed in on the blue planet of Arus, ready
to strike. As if on cue, the Lions met the terrible disposable Fleet of Doom.

"Ah, Voltron Force! Prepare to meet your Doom!" Lotor smirked as he sat in
his personal ship, waiting for the inevitable.

"Ha! That's what you think, Lotor! Right, team?"

That was definitely the irritating Captain Keith.

"Keith, wouldja quit with the 'team' thing already!" Lance's irritated voice
came from the com.

"I have a surprise for you, Voltron Force! Behold!"  Lotor sent a signal and
out from one of the ships came a fearsome robeast. It was a Doom stock item,
nothing special really.It roared and spotted the five lions.

"Watch out team!" Keith shouted. "Princess, you keep out of harm's reach! If
I know Lotor, he'll be after you!"

"Roger, Keith." Allura nodded. "Lotor, you'll never have me!"

Lotor affected a yawn and ignored her statement, not making a move towards
Blue Lion, who raced away at breakneck speed. Allura looked on her sensors
and frowned. Huh? He wasn't chasing her? How - odd! Well, surely he was up to

Meanwhile the stock model robeast had caught the four lions and the guys were
groaning as the robeast sent shocks throughout their lions.

"We gotta - form - Voltron!" Keith sounded like he had a major case of the

"No DUH!" Lance's sarcastic voice said.

"Lotor hasn't even made a move towards the Princess!" Hunk said.

"Princess you okay?" Pidge asked as he gritted his teeth.

Allura blinked, wondering just WHY Lotor wasn't chasing her or spouting off
his usual lines.

"PRINCESS!" Lance yelped.

"Oh! Sorry!" Allura raced ahead in Blue Lion towards the robeast, who roared
and actually made a grab for her but missed. Using her weapons, she was able
to free the others from the robeast. It was then that the Fleet opened fire
upon the lions, but they were able to form Voltron and as usual they mopped
the floor with the Fleet. By the time they were finished, Lotor had
disappeared, but without his usual threats. Afterwards in the Castle,
everything was as it should be.

"Oh, my leetle princess!" Nanny gave her a bear hug and sobbed loudly. "I'm
SO glad that evil Preence Lotor didn't capture you!"

"He didn't even try to, Nanny." Allura was STILL thinking about that. Had
Lotor found some other princess to obsess over? That WAS good wasn't it?

"Bah! He's always after you!" Nanny scowled.

"Yeah, he's probably got somethin' up them sleeves.." Hunk said before he
inhaled a Sara Lee cheesecake.

"We'll be ready for him next time, team!" Keith's eyes were filled with mad

"Stop with the damn team crap, Keith! Geez!" Lance looked damned annoyed.

"Keith, why don't you rest for awhile?" Allura said sweetly. Keith thought
she was something, didn't he? He never SAID so but he was so shy, he supposed.

"I don't need to rest, team." Keith shook his head. "Evil NEVER rests and
neither should I! But thanks for your concern, team, I'll be fine!"

Allura's eyes widened. He called HER - team! Oh the horror! Between this and
Lotor's seemingly indifferent attitude, her vanity had been punctured.

"Lance you think I'm good looking don't you?" Allura looked soulfully at

"Sure! 'Bout as good looking as me, why?"

Allura cringed. It wasn't that she was vain, mind you, but she had always
disgarded her beauty. And now that it seemed like no one even really noticed
her, it was like - well it hurt!


Another day, another battle with Lotor and it was the SAME thing. It was like
he totally ignored her presence completely! It got to where Allura would
check herself out in the mirror every night to see if her looks had changed
any. When she determined THAT wasn't the problem, she wondered if it was her
personality. But no, she was still fiery, determined and all that, so that
surely couldn't be the problem.

It HAD to be that he lost interest in her and obsessed over another! In a
fever one weekend, she had called every princess she knew in her little pink
book and asked them if Prince Lotor had been stalking them. The consensus was
a resounding no.

Okay, get a grip here. He wasn't stalking her anymore. She should be GLAD not
sad! He was evil and he was Zarkon's son - that alone would disqualify him as
a suitor. He was vain, egotistical, arrogant and - and

Gee, he had such nice hair..and those eyes...and that body..the way he moved
when he would advance on her..his gold eyes intent on her and her alone..he
was strong and so virile - and he never said 'team' at the end of a sentence!

Oh she was losing it!


On to Part 2